Well, I have to say that I am quite relieved. I just had my first parent/teacher conference today with my son's teacher, and it went well. Those that know us, can probably understand my relief, given that my son is a bit precocious. The kid is wicked smart as well. However, lately, he had been saying he is dumb. He also gets incredibly upset when he gets something wrong. He use to bite himself, now he just makes a crazy face like he is lifting a 2 ton barbell.
My major worry, was that somehow I was screwing up my perfect little angel with my own internal issues with cancer. You know, because I don't have enough stress in my life, I have to create more stress by blaming myself for any issue that child might have. Cancer just puts a little magnify glass on your life, intensifying all the good and the bad. Suddenly you can be in quite the downward spiral.
Today, I went to his parent/teacher conference with a little trepidation, fearing that Wyatt was an issue in class, and wasn't doing well academically because he was distracted. Instead, it appears that my little guy is actually doing quite well. And his teacher even places kids who need a little help with him to do an activity because he helps the other students. Yay! He is both smart AND compassionate. Major win here in my head. His teacher laughed when she heard that he says he is not smart - 'he is playing you for attention.' That did cross my mind.
I am thankful. And, I shall remain, just thankful. Happy that my child doesn't seem to be aware of the issues that I feel with cancer in my life.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Thursday, January 12, 2012
A New Year
Not sure if this should be titled - A New Year With Cancer, or a New Year Without Cancer. I just had a round of scans and they came out clean. No cancer. The big news on this, is that I am taking a break from all cancer treatment. I am having some issues with Xeloda and Avastin. I fear that my hands are permanently messed up from the Xeloda, but my doctor assures me that it is temporary. (I struggled to open the syrup bottle yesterday for my son's waffle.) Avastin just wreaks havoc on your sinuses. Getting up in the morning can be a bit painful, sometimes it is bloody too; just depends on how dry your sinuses get.
Back to the 'With or Without' issue. So I am on a break. My cancer isn't showing up, but the drugs I am on can linger in your system for quite some time. So one could say that I am doing fine, return to normal life! However, Metastatic disease is so incredibly tricky. Apparently, it can just hide. Maybe for weeks, maybe for years. My doctor has no idea. As it is, I am what you could call an outlier. I don't seem to follow any statistics. I first had breast cancer at age 24, and have bucked all trending data since then. Both good and bad data. Once a woman is diagnosed with Stage 4 Breast Cancer, she lives on average 2.5 years. It has been 2.75 years for me, and I am still kicking.
So, will this be a year with or without cancer. Right now it is has started off well. Just hoping that it stays that way.
Back to the 'With or Without' issue. So I am on a break. My cancer isn't showing up, but the drugs I am on can linger in your system for quite some time. So one could say that I am doing fine, return to normal life! However, Metastatic disease is so incredibly tricky. Apparently, it can just hide. Maybe for weeks, maybe for years. My doctor has no idea. As it is, I am what you could call an outlier. I don't seem to follow any statistics. I first had breast cancer at age 24, and have bucked all trending data since then. Both good and bad data. Once a woman is diagnosed with Stage 4 Breast Cancer, she lives on average 2.5 years. It has been 2.75 years for me, and I am still kicking.
So, will this be a year with or without cancer. Right now it is has started off well. Just hoping that it stays that way.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)